25 Hilarious Quips From Overheard In San Francisco

Author image for Ada Elder
Ada Elder
Jun 28, 2018 12:00 PM EDT

Ah, San Francisco. The highest rent in the country and the tech capital of the U.S. You just know these people have some sh*t to say. Here's our proof. 

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  • 01
    Text - "I'm taking my children to San Francisco to see colleges. We're going to Stanford and Alcatraz so they know they're either going to college or prison." Coverheardsanfrancisco
    via anlyin
  • 02
    Text - "Did they really replace their pasta menu with quinoa bowls?!" "It's so hard to find carbs in this city." Coverheardsanfrancisco
    via anlyin
  • 03
    Text - "I fly into lax." "You mean L A X?" "Oh, is that how you pronounce it? thought it was like laxative." Boverheardsanfrancisco
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  • 04
    Text - "Are you getting so excited for the festival, or whatever you call it?" "A conference." Doverheardsanfrancisco
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  • 05
    Text - "Three years, wow, she's really vesting in that relationship." "You mean nesting." Coverheardsanfrancisco
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  • 06
    Text - "I want to be the first private citizen to own a satellite." Coverheardsanfrancisco
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  • 07
    Text - *Waiting in checkout line "Oh, you only have a basket, the 10 items or less line is really short." "That's ok, this is my time to meditate." Coverheardsanfrancisco
    via anlyin
  • 08
    Text - "What time should I come over?" "Pregame starts at 6:00, calling ubers at 7:00... but we're doing a photoshoot on the roof at 6:45." Doverheardsanfrancisco
    via anlyin
  • 09
    Text - "Is Azkaban still like, an active prison?" "I think you mean Alcatraz, and no." Coverheardsanfrancisco
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  • 10
    Text - *Guy walking d own street cradling huge bouquet of flowers Guy across the street, screaming: "IT'S NOT GONNA WORK, BRO!" Coverheardsanfrancisco
    via anlyin
  • 11
    Text - Professor to Class: "We could talk about rhetoric theory but since I'm not a recent grad with a master's degree from Bumfuck University, we're not going to. Let's watch a movie." Coverheardsanfrancisco
    via anlyin
  • 12
    Text - "Dating in San Francisco is expensive but you make up for it in the long run by never logging out of their Hulu and Netflix subscriptions." @overheardsanfrancisco
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  • 13
    Text - "It feels like it's getting pretty serious." "Did he ask you to be exclusive?" "No, but we did a Blue Apron meal together." Coverheardsanfrancisco
    via anlyin
  • 14
    Text - "Every night I sleep in my closet room, I think of the money I'm banking for Tartine bread." Coverheardsanfrancisco
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  • 15
    Text - Girl 1: "Why did you guys break up?" Girl 2: "Cultural differences." Girl 1: "Oh, where's he from?" Girl 2: "Ohio." @overheardsanfrancisco
    via anlyin
  • 16
    Text - "Do you know what people wear to Bottlerock?" "It's like what you wear to Coachella if you're 40." @overheardsanfrancisco
    via anlyin
  • 17
    Text - Tech coworkers: "Is this recyclable?" "There are 5 different bins in the kitchen, you can't throw anything away in this office without being trash-judged." Coverheardsanfrancisco
    via anlyin
  • 18
    Text - "I usually like older men, but he reminds me of my dad... He doesn't have Snapchat and he still thinks soy milk is healthy." Coverheardsanfrancisco
    via anlyin
  • 19
    Text - "She suggested a rooftop bar, but I look terrible in wind." Coverheardsanfrancisco
    via anlyin
  • 20
    Text - "What do you usually wear to work?" "I have only two looks, homeless lesbian or vice principal." Coverheardsanfrancisco
    via anlyin
  • 21
    Text - Flight attendant demonstrating oxygen masks: "If you're traveling with a child, I'm sorry. If you're traveling with multiple children, choose the one with the highest earning potential." Coverheardsanfrancisco
    via anlyin
  • 22
    Text - 3 girls discussing baby names: "We're not hunters, so I'm not sure how I feel about the name Hunter." Coverheardsanfrancisco
    via anlyin
  • 23
    Text - "He sounds great, does he have a hot friend?" "He does, I was planning to sleep with both of them but you can have him." Coverheardsanfrancisco
    via anlyin
  • 24
    Text - "Where's the party, in the hills?" "Yes but this isn't LA so we don't say it like that." Coverheardsanfrancisco
    via anlyin
  • 25
    Text - Professor: "That's why they take their sports so seriously in lowa, there's nothing else to do there. All they have is corn." Coverheardsanfrancisco
    via anlyin

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